Date/Outing #15: I had a blind blind date. I kid you not. My friend was the only one to follow up on my pleas for help from friends to help me find dates to fulfill my challenge.
(May I just have a side vent that I get rather tired of people who like and like and like my question posts, but never do or say anything in regards to the question. "Who wants to come with me to this event?" Like. "Where can I find this brand of ice cream?" Like. "Does anyone know of any men I can go on a date with for a challenge? Like. Your likes do me absolutely no good! Those who comment--those are much appreciated! So I would like to say a huge thank you to the one friend who actually helped me date-wise on this challenge.)
So as she was setting me up on this blind, date, she told me a little about this guy. And one of the facts--he is blind. I couldn't--and still can't--help but find the irony. I will admit I was rather intrigued, since I spend 18 months working with visually impaired. He is not what we would term a total, but he is legally blind. Caused by spinal meningitis when he was very young. I picked him up to take him to a park for a walk. The walk was fine. I enjoyed near the end of the date when I was able to talk a little bit about visually impaired things with him. But the 40 minutes before that....I was completely bored out of my mind. At least it was not about a former spouse! It was about races and running. I may have been a long distance runner in Jr high and high school for track and cross country. And still run an occasional 5K. But the topic doesn't really interest me. I tried to ask other kinds of questions, but he always brought the conversation back to his running. I guess in all fairness he was completely distracted by the fact that the park we were in was one he ran a race in during high school.
Date/Outing #16: This was my first 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #3. We had set a date for the date, but no definite details since I was leaving it to him. I finally contacted him the day before and asked if he was still up for it. He was. Mentioned one activity idea. It didn't appeal to me at the time, so I suggested another and he agreed. We had time and all set. Even discussed it morning of. A couple hours later he messaged me to tell me he was laid off and really didn't feel up for the date that night. Understandable. So we cancelled. the date. I tried to see if anyone else wanted to have a last minute.
("Anyone want to join me for a movie night tonight? Like. *insert eye roll*)
It was a no go on that. So I got some yardwork done instead, and then watched a movie I had been wanting to for a while. I still had a good evening. Even if I was at home, I am counting the date to the point that we had the plans and I had expended some energy in the prep and plans for that.
Date/Outing #17: This was my second 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #4. I was not looking forward to this one because of how conversation was in between. It annoyed me so much! Conversation, when it happened, was rather humdrum for me. I didn't find his topics interesting, except for one or two that I had strong opinions about, which I definitely let out. Probably more profusely then I should have....
I admit I probably could have been a little better on this date, but in my defense--he planned a lunch date. May I remind (or inform) you that he is deaf. Yes he has hearing aids, but from my observation they only alert him to some sound. It seems that he mostly reads lips. Eating food. Talking. We've been taught it is rude to do the two together, but it is even more awkward, rude, and gross if someone is trying to read your lips if the two occur at the same time. And because he couldn't always hear when I started to speak, I pretty much sat in many awkward silences waiting for him to stop eating and look at me so I could say something. (Wondering if he gets awkward silences; not sarcasm or complaint--honest wondering.) So there was much waiting on my part. In silence. There was also that he kept thinking I had spoken when I hadn't, so he kept turning his head to me at random times to see my mouth. He also chose to sit beside me instead of across, so his head was at this funky angle to see my mouth, and he sometimes got a little close to my face to see my mouth. That was uncomfortable. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable subject topics. Uncomfortable physical space. Uncomfortable in a "cultural" situation that I was not as familiar with.
There was also the whole part of him talking fast, and he wasn't that easy to understand. But if I spoke fast (which is about 98% of the time), he couldn't understand me. He had to stop me to repeat myself slowly. Understandable. But he never slowed down for me. I suppose I could have asked him to slow down, but when I would say I didn't understand what he said, he thought adding signs to what he was saying fast helped me understand. No. Not really. That's just adding a foreign language on top of not understanding what you are saying.
He walked me to my car. We said goodbye. I was in the car and closing the door when he called out to me and returned to my car. So I had to get out and ask "What?" And he asked "So, will we be able to go out again soon?" My courage failed me. And instead of saying my "no connection" line, I said "I'll think about it." Oh my word. The parental long answer for "no." I couldn't believe I said that. But I did. And I think he got the idea.
Date/Outing #17: My third 2nd date, this one with #14. He met me after a ward activity and we went for a walk. Mostly we sat in the park. I was extremely tired by this point. Date/outing earlier that afternoon had left me close to tears because it was so unpleasant for me. I apologized a few times for my attitude, but this guy didn't seem to see me as being rude or tired or grumpy. He thought I was just loose. ......... OK. As long as he wasn't offended. We ended up back at my house and talking for another couple of hours. He definitely knows how to ask a TON of questions. And I have never been one shy of talking if I feel comfortable with a person. The conversation was fine. But it was enlightening. I experienced no growth or insight from it. I still don't feel I know him as much factually. Perhaps a little bit more in personality.
Date/Outing #18: My friend of many years came over--with 3 kittens!--and we caught up on our lives over the last few years. While playing with kittens. I have never been near kittens before. It was an experience!
Date/Outing #19: This, so far and possibly will be it, has been the only date during the challenge to come from a dating site. He did not know of my challenge until he had already asked to meet me for a date. He seemed intrigued by the challenge, and not intimidated or deterred by it. So we set our date and texted in the passing time. By the time we got closer to the day of the date, my introvert was fully on. (Possibly why I wasn't so impressive on the previous 2 dates.) I had kind of reached a point that I was not interested in the least and hoped the date would end within the first hour. But within the first 10 minutes I found myself completely and happily surprised that he wasn't at all what I had worried he would be. And that I was enjoying talking to him and listening to him, tiredly introverted as I was. I didn't want that date to end. We both agreed to end it after 2 1/2 hours because we had things to get to--after 4 times saying we needed to leave and then wondering off into another conversation topic. Conversation with him was the most equal and the most interesting of all the dates so far in this challenge. And he is the only date in the challenge where I found myself at the end excited for the next one (which, yes, we have agreed to have one; plans to be made later--because we had to stop talking to each other and go!).
Projection says he is my last date in the challenge, and the rest will be outings. They also say that the Girls' Ice Cream Night planned a couple of weeks ago may have to be cancelled--because I made callbacks for a show! But I still have book club, and a possible haunted house outing, and my cast party, and my birthday sleepover. This will be a busy week. And then Introvert may be appeased for a month before we enter the fabulous Halloween festivities!
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