You Can't See My Face, So I Will Describe: Disgust. All. Over. It.

(I kid you not--this is how he first messaged me.)

Him: Bummer. You would be so fun to corrupt.

Me: I guess I'll take that as a compliment.

Him: Absolutely. LDS girls are great in bed.

BLOCK.

Red Flags Everywhere

A guy who claimed to be LDS and even an RM. I don't get a lot of those online.

It's just sad when they say they are, and they still don't have similar values and morals as you.

We had exchanged hellos.

Got to what we do for a job.

I had to explain 3 times exactly what my job was.

That could have been a red flag, but others seem to have difficulty with my job title, so I let it go.

He was curious what I did in my job.

I mentioned the various storytimes.

Got a red flag when he thought my Sensory Storytime meant "erotic."

Of course, I explained it meant special needs. He laughed. Or wrote it out: "bwahahahaha."

Red flag number 2.

His next question: "What do you think of making out."

Another red flag. But I still answered. Said I am not a fan, especially as it got me close to being in trouble and getting hurt.

He wanted to know what I meant by trouble.

So I mentioned the recent guy.

And he wanted details.

Um...another red flag.

So I told him a couple of things the guy tried to do to me.

And he wrote out his laugh. "Bwahahahaha."

Red flag!!!!!

So I came right out and said "I'm sorry if you like making out, but I do not. Kissing means something different to me than it does to the men I am meeting. I have compromised before, and I will not do so again."

Within a few minutes, he blocked me.

Good riddance--because I was tired of seeing red!

Really? Really though?

I know there are good, worthy LDS men out there who respect women and have physical boundaries because they understand the importance of it as far as their being Priesthood holders, sons of God, and taking care of God's daughters. Please help me find them.

More evidence to my Ghosting Theory?

(Dating site)
Him: Hi how are you? I am lds too, love it and was hoping we could talk and get to know eachother​

Me: Well, Hello! Thank you for reaching out to chat.

Him: You bet, how are you today?

Me: ​I am actually recovering from an illness, so I am exhausted. Mornings are always so hard with this! But work calls. How are you?

Him: I'm so sorry to hear that, I'm great just enjoying a day off lol​

Me: Days off are fabulous. I could use a couple of those!

Him: Right?
Him: ​So you've gone through all the utah temples?​

Me: Yes. It was my goal to serve in 15 Utah temples in 2015.

Him: That's so awesome i need to go through more i love it my favorite thing to go to the temple​

Me: I adore temples. My total right now is seen 31, been inside 28, and served in 23. I hope to make those numbers go up much more!

Him: That's so awesome you are amazing​

Me: :-) Thank you! I have to log off so I can head to work. Would you like to transfer this to emailing, or texting?

Him: Text would be perfect, _(#)_____ I'm _(name)____ btw​

Me: Great! My name is _____. My # is ______.

Him: There's too many numbers there lol​
Him: Ok never mind got it fixed my phone just glitched​

He texted 3 minutes later. Over the course of the day we proceeded to talk about interests, his son, missions, his returning to activity in the Church, his mother passing on, eternal families. It was a pretty even conversation, as far as asking questions.

Him: Thanks you are very impressive and your love for the gospel is super attractive

Me: Thank you!

Him: Of course
Him: Do you have a pic of you?

Me: I don't have many on my phone, but here is one from last year at our family reunion.
[picture]

Him: You are so beautiful

Me: Thank you :-)

Him: Of course you are so welcome
Him: How's work?

Me: It is going well

Him: Glad to hear it when do you get off?

Me: ___[time]___

Him: Oh ok any plans after?

Me: Yep. My musical performance.

Him: Oh ya? What kind?

Me: ___[musical]___

Him: Oh wow what are you doing in that

Me: Just a small role at the dance and in the finale

Him: Wow very impressive, look at you go

Me: It is one of the things I like to do [as mentioned in early conversation just that afternoon...]

Him: That's so awesome

Me: Thank you

Him: Of course is it over? [asked only an hour after I had told him I would get off work]

Me: No. We haven't even gone on

Him: Oh ok

Next day, afternoon

Him: How are you today?

Me: I am well, thank you. How are you?

10 days later. Still no answer. Does this give me another piece of evidence to my theory in the previous post? I was asking him questions, showing interest. But I didn't fawn--asking for his pic (because I really don't care for one at that stage of a getting-to-know-you relationship), or what he was up to in the evening because I was in the middle of doing something. Maybe I'm on to something. Because why else would a guy go from repeatedly telling me that he thought I was amazing or impressive, to ghosting?

Not that it affects my faith in men, or my belief that my desires will be fulfilled one day. But my curiosity continues to be piqued. I won't turn in to a fawning girl to prevent it, but good to know in future I suppose.

Even MORE curious: according to my text messages, I noticed later the little exclamation symbol next to my picture, which is supposed to mean that the picture never got sent. So, did he really see my picture, or was he just stating I was pretty when there was nothing to look at? Hmmm....

Working it out in my mind...maybe

Note: I wasn't interested in his profile. But I still had the guilty feeling of blocking so many men who were messaging me. So I thought I would converse, even if not fully.

Aug 12 7:23am

Him: Cute pictures, how are you doing today?​

Aug 12 8:34am

Me: I am very busy these days, but I am well, thank you.

Aug 12 9:34am
Him: Nice, what do you like to do for fun?​

Aug 13 11:57pm
Me: Read, sing, dance, bake, host parties, be in musicals, exercise, play piano, play card/board games, be with friends and family, go camping.

Aug 15 7:26am
Him: Very cool,  how was your weekend?​

Aug 15 8:19am
Me: It was good. Rather busy on Saturday, which hasn't helped with me being sick. So I had to back out of a couple things last night so I could rest.

Him: Awe i am sorry,  I hope you get well soon!  Any plans this week?​

Me: Thanks. I have a few more performances in my musical this week. And work, of course, with afterschool programs starting up again because it's back to school. Then on Saturday I get to meet Josh Groban. So it's going to be a pretty amazing week.

Aug 15 9:22am
Him: That sounds great! Glad you have a good week planned!​

Aug 15 3:04pm
Me: Me, too!

Aug 15 3:48pm
Him: How's your day going?​

Aug 15 5:38pm
Him: What are you doing tonight ​

Aug 15 6:10pm
Me: I have my musical performance tonight

Him: Oh nice!​

Aug 15 11:10pm
Me: Yeah, it is pretty awesome

Aug 16 7:19am
Him: I bet it was!​

Aug 18 7:39am
Him: Hi how are you doing today?​

Aug 18 5:56pm
Me: I am well. You?

Silence. I'm not upset about it. More relieved. I just still find it curious. Maybe it is men don't pursue online when the woman isn't fawning all over them? True, I didn't really ask him anything--because I wasn't interested. But what of the men that I did ask questions who dropped me suddenly? I showed genuine interest, but certainly wasn't fawning. Maybe I've discovered the secret....

No Words

Him: Hi ___ how are you? You look very pretty

Me: Thank you for the compliment! I am doing very well. How are you?

Him: I'm doing great! How was your day?

Me: My day yesterday was good. No A/C at work, but a good performance for the musical I am in.

Him: What's the musical?

Me: _____

Him: Oh nice, that's way cool

Me: Yes, it has made for a fun summer

Him: We should go on a date sometime

Me: Ok. Let's figure out a time.

Him: What are your plans tonight?

Me: Last night I missed my show's performance to meet Josh Groban.

Him: Haha serious? That's awesome! Are you in trouble now for missing your show?

Me: No. They knew when I auditioned in May that I wouldn't be there, so we planned an understudy.

Him: I see that's cool you met him. Alright question time...favorite song, darkest secret, and person you'd like to meet most

Me: I have hundreds of favorite songs. One of them is "Abigail's Song." I don't know you well enough to share my darkest secret. And I have met quite a few people I have wanted to meet (e.g. Josh Groban), but I would love to meet more general authorities.

Him: Cool cool. Can you go out this week?
Him: Would it be okay if I asked you for your number?

Me: First I need to know if you're LDS or not. I love making friends of any religion, but I am very seroius about dating and finding my best friend to marry in the temple. Since only an active LDS man can give me that, I do not want to waste other men's time.

Him: Yes I am active LDS

Me: Thank you for telling me. I am already booked for this week. Not sure what next week looks like yet. But my # is _____.

Him: Thanks I'll text you.

(Texting)
Him: Hey it's ___

Me: Hi

Him: How was your day?

Me: It was ok. Very much ready for sleep.

Him: Haha same. You're pretty

Me: Thank you

Him: Hey how did your day go?

Me: It was all right. A/C still broken at work so it was pretty miserable by closing. But I got things done and that was good. How was your day?

Him: Mine has been really. Where do you work?

Me: Really what? I work at a library

Him: Haha. Sorry it's been really good

Me: Ah. Good to hear

Him: Lets get married

Me: Don't think so

Him: Ok bye

I question if his being LDS is true. Maybe he is. I don't know. But the silver lining: at least he was asking for something honorable like marriage instead of physical relations before marriage........

From 0 to Car Crash

He said he was LDS. He began the online conversation by stating that. Then asking what my favorite board game was. Next what types of movies I like. Then how my day at church was. And then for his 4th conversation topic he jumped to asking for my thoughts on physical affection, leading to what my thoughts on birth control and how I want my marital sex life to be--particularly ways in which we could "have fun" and not have to worry about getting pregnant.

Ummmmm.....

And blech.

Fake Profile or He Doesn't Read

His Profile

About Him: I like hunting fishing and sports

How He Feels about the LDS Church: Hunting fishing and sports

No thanks.

Silver Lining?

Attacking my religion, my beliefs, my desires, my faith, and my choices is not going to make me look favorably on you.

While I am still hurting at being attacked, I know that will pass. Because I have spent my life having people attack me for the aforementioned things. It's never easy, but you deal.

I am posting about the experience because it completely amazes me that this guy continued to say he was interested when we so obviously differed on such core things.

I guess his attacking me was his way of dealing with my basic rejection of him/his beliefs.

At least he didn't do it with crude language or attacking the physical aspect of me as I hear unfortunately often happens.

Good Grief is Right, Charlie Brown!

Him: Saw your profile and liked what I saw. Let's chat and see if we work for each other.​

Me: Thank you, but from your profile I can already see there are a couple of important things to me that we don't share. But thank you so much for the compliment, and good luck in your search!

Him: Which parts? I was filling things in really late at night and haven't finished it.​

Me: For one, that God/religion are only somewhat important to you. I am looking for a man who puts that first in his life. And for another, you are OK with sexual relations before marriage. I am not.

If you read my profile, it would have saved this wasted time and conversation.

Another Winner

His Message:
Him: Hi know that I have one of if not the best heart. You have the beauty I seek. I am truly single and need a friend. Please let me know can we converse after reading my profile. Thank you.

So I looked at His Profile:
I know I do not look good. Nor do I have "money" yet. But I am 95% developed to have a very good feeling relationship with a woman; so I am rare; I spent 10 years writing a book on it.

So do you want a Brad Pitt or a me? We all look ugly after 55; so what would you have left? What kind of relationship would you had during all that time? 90% of marriages are bad; more than 50% do not make it (with kids spread out, hate and ...). Out of all the people you know of which truly had happy marriages?

So what do you want? Beauty or Happiness? Money or Contentions? Some people are going to win the lottery, get a person like me. Others may just be satisfied for a very short time; 99% of people. Which one is more rewarding? How many men do you know of spent enough time (like 10 years) to figure it out how to have a good relationship?

If neither of those had been a huge turnoff, his username being something along the lines of being a Love Doctor certainly would have done it on its own.

Seriously?

Me: Hello! How has your summer been so far?

Him: Ncmo?

Me: No thank you.

You couldn't even respond hello before your proposition?

So many things to learn...yay.

Had a guy Super Like me on a dating site.

And we matched.

The only thing on his profile:

Need a 420 chick!

And now I know what THAT means.

*sigh*

and ug.

Unmatch!

#marijuana

FYI

To at least this girl, your profile picture of kissing a girl is not attractive in the least.

Nor is your admittance albeit honest that you are just looking for a make-out buddy.

Thank you for not pursuing me any further.

The Sound of Silence

Him: Hey, how's it going? You are so gorgeous

Me: Thank you. :-) things are going well. How are you?

Been over a month. Things must be terrible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Him: Hey!

Me: Hi!

Another month gone by in silence. He must not have been able to think of anything else to say....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: Hello! How is your summer going?

Him: My summer is going pretty well. How about yours?

Me: Really well. Busier at work than I had hoped, but that always keeps things interesting.

Him: Busy can be good. Better than bored stiff, I'd imagine. What do you do?

Me: I am a youth services librarian. What do you do?

Him: Market Research Analyst

Me: Nice

Him: I enjoy it. So what brings you to [dating site]?

Me: Looking to meet active LDS men

Him: Hi, my name is ______

Me: Hi. My name is _______

And then silence. It's been 2 weeks. I guess he didn't like my name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: Well hello hello

Me: Hi!

And silence. Again, for 2 weeks. Perhaps I was too informal with hi instead of hello?

Further Adventures in Blocking--with gifs!!!

Him: You're beautiful and totally out of my league but I thought I would hit you up and give it a try​

Me: I am flattered. However I am only looking for men who are active in the LDS faith. But best of luck to you in your search!

Him: I am active in the LDS faith​

Me: And yet you are willing to have sex on the first date?

Him: Ha no I just clicked on something​

Me: Well, you also marked that religion/God is not at all important in your life. I think both of those are important enough questions that the kind of man I'm looking for would take thought and make sure he answered how he honestly felt and believed.

Him: OK well sorry :(​

Me: That's all right. Good luck anyway.

Him: Yeah

Lying won't help you get any closer to "my league."

Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Him: Hi, is stealing a sin?​

Me: Yes it is.


Yes. That was the entirety of the conversation.

Two weeks later: Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: im moving to Utah...how long have u lived there?

Me: This is my 3rd time in Utah. This time I have been here 5 1/2 years.

Him: good, u can show me around

Me: If in a big group, perhaps.

Forward much?!

Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: There are hardly any single lds women in my ward that are white.​

Me: OK....... ??

After 2 weeks of no further explanation--which I was worried about what it might be, I gratefully received no answer and followed suit of the other guys on this site--

Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: Great smile ​

Me: Thank you!

Him: Your lips ​

Me: Yes, like most people I have some. Two in fact.

Him: Four.. ​

Me: What?

Him: You have two pair

Me: I'm not certain I follow, unless you are going somewhere completely inappropriate and disgusting.

Him: Well you doI only have one

Me: Yep. You went the inappropriate route. I do not find that attractive in any way, so you can just move on. Thank you.

Him: Good luck

Me: Same to you

Him: Thanks hun

Ug. I just threw up a little. How have I not learned my lesson?!?! As soon as he went from smile to lips, I should have blocked him. I just didn't think he'd go as far in such a horrible direction as he did. Ugggggg and Ewwwwww!

Oh, and "hun?"

BLOCK!!!!

No way.

Seriously--this is your dating profile bio on an LDS dating site? Uggggggg.

Making love ( sex ) is a must before marriageyou may not like me and that's okay I am member of church but don't fallow all they teach I seen good and bad from many high in the church so I choose I different path with God I seek a women that wants married and a life forever but I also want a women that will date and prove love if we get together in same bed you may not like that and that's your choice but a must is us share same bed even before marriage

I'm so disgusted--you can bet I blocked him after receiving his flirt. Feeling all kinds of ick. Now having to chant to myself all my Love Magnetizing Mantras.

Do you not get that you cannot have a forever marriage in a temple if you are breaking your temple covenants by sleeping together before marriage?! Let's not even go with the fact that I wouldn't date you because of your lack of standards and morals that coincide with my own--I don't date dumb men, either.

Even scarier and sadder is that he probably is having women responding to him.