The Dating Game Continues

I've had 2 dates within a week. Two different men. The first date caught me completely by surprise. It actually still does. Things like that never happen to me, and I will forever be flattered by it. It was a nice date. I really enjoyed meeting this man and I would love to get to know him more. I haven't a clue if that is mutual. So, after everything I'm done and applying what I've learned from my Utah dating coach and what I'm learning from my Toronto dating coach, I just leave it all there. Everything is in his court. And this time around I'm not going to wait, hope, and fantasize. I'm just going to move on with my life. If he comes back to the front door I will very gladly open it for him for more conversation and maybe even another date, but I'm not going to hold the back door open hoping he'll come there once in a while.

So I went on a date with the other man last night. I've had a co-worker suggesting we two goo on a date for about 3 years. I'm open to being set up. She finally convinced him to come in to the library last week, where she proceeded to introduce us and say that we should go out some time. It seemed rather awkward for either of us to say no, what with her standing there and everyone around the reference desk listening in! So we agreed.

Now I want to clarify that I am a true believer in a date is just a date. OK? All right. But even if the first few dates don't mean marriage, I'm still going to go on the date looking for the traits and qualities that I would like in my best friend. I'm still going to practice being a kind, interesting, interested, fun, companionable date. Because it's always good practice and every one of us, man and female, deserve to have nice dates.

I believe overall we both left this date thinking it was nice. But for me, it wasn't really beyond that. For one thing, our senses of humor do not mesh. And another, probably the most telling thing is I left feeling particularly stupid. As I look back over it, I think he was being a little condescending to me. I think that may have come in when he asked my age and very blatantly referred to how young I am. I'm only 10 years younger than him. It's not that much of a stretch and I've been on a date and an almost set-up with older.

I believe my different religion may have also factored in his behavior, as it did mine. Because I believe both of us figured out somewhere in that date that neither of us would be interested in anything beyond the first date. Which is probably why I ended up talking about the absolute dumbest things, and he just encouraged me every step of the way. I'm rather embarrassed about that and not only did I leave the date feeling stupid, but I also left feeling like I haven't learned a thing from my dating coaches.

So the dating game goes. I really hate playing this game. But I am determined to win, so I will keep at it.

At least my Utah dating coach would be proud that I'm keeping my monthly date goal, even though I've literally done nothing in the last 3 months to make sure the goal is made.

Though this lovely night was only a fantasy...

New Year's Eve was a fantasy. A beautiful, one-night only fantasy that I have been re-living ever since and probably will so for another few days.

But I'm trying to remember my barriers. One is that I fantasize too much. So though the night was an unexpected, unbelievable fantasy come to life, that was it. And it is over. I mustn't think beyond what actually happened that night.

The attempts to contest another personal barrier (of thinking I'm invisible, or second choice, or even no choice at all) keep going back and forth, wondering what to do. It's hard to grasp what reality is when you don't know what the full truth of the matter is. But I feel it is safest to simply remember I had a most lovely evening, and that is that. Nothing more, but nothing less either.

So, except for running away, losing my shoe, and having a Prince who was enchanted by me and is now seeking me out, this was my fantasy evening:



Though I think my heart will be free of it when I finally dance in the arms of the man I love who loves me in return.