Frustration and Pleading--with GIFs!

Yet again, I ask

WHAT?!?!?

British Guy. From 3 months ago. Who told me he had to break our date to take his dad to the ER (and I'm pretty sure dad does not live in the U.S.) and would reschedule our date. Then did not write, text, call, chat message, NOTHING afterwards. Your basic ghosting, which I was fine with because I had no interest in him.

He just sent me a flirt on the same online website where we "met."

WHAT?!?!?

My word, if you're going to ghost me--then stay away afterwards. You've ghosted, we're done.

And while we're at with the whole debate on ghosting is being kind, let me put in that

I PREFER TO HAVE YOU BE A MAN AND JUST TELL ME YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED!!!!!

It is NOT that hard. SIX words.

"I am not interested in you."

I will survive it.

I will be better for it.

I will be happier from it.

I will feel much less of a rejection with all kinds of feelings that I am wrong and awful and ugly and unattractive and unwanted because of it.

I will respect you for it.

I will think better of you for it.

I will try to set you up with other singles friends because of it.

You will be a gentleman who considers a woman's feelings and efforts in life, rather than a jerk or a wuss.

Just sayin'.

____________________________________________________________

Ug.

Majority of the time this is me with online dating:

But for my "part time job," this is the tool that is getting 99% of the success rate, so, we stick with it.

Yeah, I'd rather be

Please help me get out of this job--it is the worst!!! Or at least get me away from the online dating part of it by making in-person more successful.

</Sob story, venting, and ranting>

Driven Forth Before the Wind

My most recent experiences and lessons in the dating world--a culmination of last week's events, anyway-- are related to disappointment and unmet expectations. I know all about how you should not have expectations, because the majority of disappointment, frustration, etc. in relationships are when someone creates expectations...which inevitably do not get met.

I didn't realize that I was creating the expectations, and therein lay the problem. I was just loving what I was discovering, and somehow formed something in my mind which I absolutely loved and desired. That wasn't necessarily the problem. It was that somewhere in there I also created an expectation that what I was envisioning was reality. So, of course, that expectation was sorely unmet on Saturday. The disappointment is a different kind than I usually experience in dating. And rather big.

Leaves one wanting to give up. Again.

But I have learned too much and come too far to ever give up.

Luckily, I had a spiritual reminder on Sunday that brought everything back in to remembrance and focus. I love the many, many lessons one can gain from the stories about the Brother of Jared in the Book or Mormon. He builds barges to take his people to the promised land. We all know about the preparations he makes for the trip in those barges. Many of the lessons focus on that. But we often forget that on the journey, they were driven to and fro with the waves, tossed on the waters, and often plummeted into the depths. All while being driven forth toward the promised land.

I see the last 3 years of my dating experiences, lessons, etc. (and probably the wandering 12 years before that) very much like the journey of Jared's people. With the dating coach, I was building the barges and learning what to put inside to help on my journey. I have been set out on my journey, with the Goddess Weekend being my lighted stones as well as my trust that God is taking me on the right path. But that doesn't mean that my journey will be a smooth one. It is going to be extremely rough, full of riotous waves and putting me into the depths. But that is only because I am getting closer to the promised land. I am so close!! As I heard the missionary telling his story, I felt the Spirit impress upon me that I am close. This is my tempestuous journey in the sea, but the Lord is still directing me. I am still on the right course. And I am almost to my destination.

So maybe I am disappointed. Again if albeit differently. So I am frustrated and annoyed again. So I am exhausted throughout every bit of it. It will all be worth it. Because I believe in the promised land. And it is so close.