Tuesday, April 19, 2016

An LDS Single Girl in a Non-LDS Dating World

*Please note: This conversation, the site I used which is predominantly not an LDS site, or the guy I chatted with in no way represent all single men (LDS or not LDS.) I acknowledge that there are some great men out there, which is why I continue to have some good dating experiences, etc. This guy just wan't one of them.

An actual online conversation I had last night. 

Guy: Hey

Me: Hi

Guy: What's up

Me: Unwinding from the day and about to head to sleep actually

Guy: Awh, I'm in the mood :/

Guy sends pic of him at a bar

Me: Is that from tonight?

Guy posts pic of him after a workout

Guy: No weekend

Me: Ah. Must have been an interesting night! I should probably tell you if you didn't guess that I am LDS. I am all about making friends, and even dates, but I am also about as goody-goody as they come.

Guy: Are you a virgin

*Side note: I debated about just telling him it was none of his business, as it isn't. Even ending it there, which I see now was the best course of action. But then, I have nothing to hide. And I am proud and grateful I have stuck to my standards and convictions all these years. So I figured I would stand up for my beliefs and choice of lifestyle. Because I thought people need to know that some of us actually do stick to our standards. I suppose in reality, they don't really care and are just trying to get what they want in spite of what you say*

Me: Yes I am

Guy: Til your married

Me: Absolutely. Sorry if that ruins the fun, but it is a huge commitment for me, especially since my love language is physical touch. And it's something very special I want to share with only my best friend

Guy: Do you do anything?

Me: I do many things! Want to clarify that?

*Side note: Stupid me thought he was asking something like, "do you even kiss?" Stupid, stupid me.*

Guy: Like blowjobs?

Me: No. I don't do oral sex either.

Guy: Then...

Me: The chaste stuff like holding hands, kissing. If a relationship needs more than that before a marriage commitment, there ain't much to the relationship. Or any creativity and variety in expressing ones feelings

Guy: Not even like a hand job

Me: Nope. Sounds like I am not your type of girl

Guy: Dang
Guy: Intimacy is kind of important to me

Me: It is to me, too. Just within certain bounds

Guy: Do you even get yourself off

Me: I don't need to. My sexual desires are strong, but they don't rule me and I am not addicted to them

Guy: Do I get a sexy pic?

Me: I am starting to doubt you would find any of my pics sexy

Guy: Like no cleavage?

Me: Nope. Saving it for someone special who loves me for me and not just what I can physically offer him


*So now I just feel gross and dirty and like I want to scrub myself raw to be clean after glimpsing what the non-LDS dating world (and unfortunately how some LDS daters go about things) can be. Heard about it. Never wanted to experience it. Lesson learned - next time I won't even let it go beyond the first sexual joke. I'll just end it. It isn't worth either of our time.

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