Him: LDS people, ick
they are so stuck up and cookie cutter
Monday, September 26, 2016
My word.
Him: Interested in something casual right now? Just lots of kissing and playing around with each other..... Some mutual climaxing and nothing to kinky, just fun 😍
Me: Did you even look at my profile? That would have saved you the trouble from even asking.
Him: I figured I would try anyways 😘
Me: Gross. And very sad.
Block!
Me: Did you even look at my profile? That would have saved you the trouble from even asking.
Him: I figured I would try anyways 😘
Me: Gross. And very sad.
Block!
Still Attempting Kindness. Still being proven I should just be rude.
Him: Hello. You have incredibly gorgeous pictures. They really stand out to me. Ever been with a big guy?
Me: I have been on dates with men who are what some may consider big. However, even they were LDS, and that is all I am looking for on this site. However, thank you so much for the compliments, and for reaching out. Good luck in your search.
Him: 8.5 inches beer bottle thick.
Me: You are disgusting. No thank you.
Block!
I will give myself credit that at least in his initial message, I 100% correctly guessed at what he was talking about--if that is credit for being able to spot nastiness now instead of...not nastiness. But I 100% hoped he might be a gentleman, and that if I went in an entirely different direction he would prove to be so. Granted, I can see that I didn't even come close in deflecting the direction the conversation began. I should have been much more plain, but I was still trying to keep up my rules of propriety as far as conversation and words used. No such luck. Now I will finish with an
Ew, gross!!!
Me: I have been on dates with men who are what some may consider big. However, even they were LDS, and that is all I am looking for on this site. However, thank you so much for the compliments, and for reaching out. Good luck in your search.
Him: 8.5 inches beer bottle thick.
Me: You are disgusting. No thank you.
Block!
I will give myself credit that at least in his initial message, I 100% correctly guessed at what he was talking about--if that is credit for being able to spot nastiness now instead of...not nastiness. But I 100% hoped he might be a gentleman, and that if I went in an entirely different direction he would prove to be so. Granted, I can see that I didn't even come close in deflecting the direction the conversation began. I should have been much more plain, but I was still trying to keep up my rules of propriety as far as conversation and words used. No such luck. Now I will finish with an
Ew, gross!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2016
#34Before34 Part 5: The Last Week
I pretty much knew I was not going to get any more dates this last week. No one else was volunteering, and I honestly had no clue who to ask any more. So I looked for my outings.
Date/Outing #20-#23: I joined my friend and 3 of her Relief Society sisters on my morning off and helped them tie a quilt. It was nice talking and listening to various random things. I also had the great pleasure of seeing dozens of adorable missionaries...in my comfy PJs. :-)
Date/Outing #24-#26: After callbacks, since the ice cream Girls' Night was cancelled, I stopped by the Relief Society Cooking Group at my friend's house. It was basically over, but they were sitting around talking. So I joined in. I really enjoyed that
(They told me I should count the people I met and spoke to at callbacks. I did go out of my way to meet 2 of the ladies there, which is rather big considering I was dealing with nerves and no one would think ill of me for sitting in silence. But hey, I've been on a roll this month and extrovert was in full gear.
Date/Outing #27-#31: Relief Society Book Group! It was not at my house, though the hostess did choose a book I suggested--the one on introverts! I love our Book Group. And I was glad I was able to go and enjoy a relaxing evening talking and eating with them. I ended up having no other plans afterward, so I was able to thoroughly enjoy the outing without feeling rushed on to another one.
Date/Outing #32: After talking with my friend during the week, she was interested in joining me for my Breakfast with Shakespeare outing. I had gotten tickets for the Waffle Faire beforehand and couldn't find anyone to join me. She did and I was so glad to have her. She appreciated all the Shakespeare humor we encountered. And it was great to be able to talk with her for longer than a few minutes. (Technically I visited with her and her husband a couple of weeks ago--I totally should have counted that as an outing!) She was one of my first friends in my current ward, as well as my VT companion for many months. I miss seeing and talking with her more often. I believe this Challenge has gotten me to the desire that no matter how introvert I am, I want to keep up more frequently on existing friendships and not just an occasional Hello.
Date/Outing #33-#38: I decided, in spite of my being very tired, that I would go to the midsingle BBQ I had seen advertised. I walked in and immediately went up to a mother and her two kids and started to chat with her. She was so nice and accepting and friendly. Yay! Introduced me to a couple of people we knew. And my introvert comfort zone was fine sticking with them through the duration of my time there. I did recognize quite a few people there. And maybe if I hadn't spent all me energies that month on the challenge, I would have gone around and caught up with them. But I was spent--physically as well as introvertedly.
Date/Outing #39-#68: We had our Cast Party for the summer musical I was in. Not everyone was able to come and yet there were still 30 there. I knew there would be at least 20. I could have just had that for an outing and had only a few dates. ;-) But that wouldn't have helped me meet my goal then. The Cast Party was probably one of the very best ways I could wrap up my challenge with. I had so much fun. Even if I was so very little involved in the show, I made some very wonderful friends from it. Ones who always made me feel included. I do miss seeing them more regularly, but I sure am glad I have such fabulous friends in my life now.
Date/Outing #69-#71: My birthday sleepover! 3 of my cast buddies came to my house for a sleepover. Still in the middle of it, as they haven't woken up and I need to go make us breakfast. Some of us will be going up to hear another fellow cast member speak, as he leaves for his mission in a couple of weeks. And at some point some of us will be watching last night's Women's Conference together. I love these girls--so glad they wanted to spend time with me.
So, there it is. I more than doubled my challenge, which I didn't expect at all. I well and fully met my goals in the challenge. And I created an absolutely memorable month.
Date/Outing #20-#23: I joined my friend and 3 of her Relief Society sisters on my morning off and helped them tie a quilt. It was nice talking and listening to various random things. I also had the great pleasure of seeing dozens of adorable missionaries...in my comfy PJs. :-)
Date/Outing #24-#26: After callbacks, since the ice cream Girls' Night was cancelled, I stopped by the Relief Society Cooking Group at my friend's house. It was basically over, but they were sitting around talking. So I joined in. I really enjoyed that
(They told me I should count the people I met and spoke to at callbacks. I did go out of my way to meet 2 of the ladies there, which is rather big considering I was dealing with nerves and no one would think ill of me for sitting in silence. But hey, I've been on a roll this month and extrovert was in full gear.
Date/Outing #27-#31: Relief Society Book Group! It was not at my house, though the hostess did choose a book I suggested--the one on introverts! I love our Book Group. And I was glad I was able to go and enjoy a relaxing evening talking and eating with them. I ended up having no other plans afterward, so I was able to thoroughly enjoy the outing without feeling rushed on to another one.
Date/Outing #32: After talking with my friend during the week, she was interested in joining me for my Breakfast with Shakespeare outing. I had gotten tickets for the Waffle Faire beforehand and couldn't find anyone to join me. She did and I was so glad to have her. She appreciated all the Shakespeare humor we encountered. And it was great to be able to talk with her for longer than a few minutes. (Technically I visited with her and her husband a couple of weeks ago--I totally should have counted that as an outing!) She was one of my first friends in my current ward, as well as my VT companion for many months. I miss seeing and talking with her more often. I believe this Challenge has gotten me to the desire that no matter how introvert I am, I want to keep up more frequently on existing friendships and not just an occasional Hello.
Date/Outing #33-#38: I decided, in spite of my being very tired, that I would go to the midsingle BBQ I had seen advertised. I walked in and immediately went up to a mother and her two kids and started to chat with her. She was so nice and accepting and friendly. Yay! Introduced me to a couple of people we knew. And my introvert comfort zone was fine sticking with them through the duration of my time there. I did recognize quite a few people there. And maybe if I hadn't spent all me energies that month on the challenge, I would have gone around and caught up with them. But I was spent--physically as well as introvertedly.
Date/Outing #39-#68: We had our Cast Party for the summer musical I was in. Not everyone was able to come and yet there were still 30 there. I knew there would be at least 20. I could have just had that for an outing and had only a few dates. ;-) But that wouldn't have helped me meet my goal then. The Cast Party was probably one of the very best ways I could wrap up my challenge with. I had so much fun. Even if I was so very little involved in the show, I made some very wonderful friends from it. Ones who always made me feel included. I do miss seeing them more regularly, but I sure am glad I have such fabulous friends in my life now.
Date/Outing #69-#71: My birthday sleepover! 3 of my cast buddies came to my house for a sleepover. Still in the middle of it, as they haven't woken up and I need to go make us breakfast. Some of us will be going up to hear another fellow cast member speak, as he leaves for his mission in a couple of weeks. And at some point some of us will be watching last night's Women's Conference together. I love these girls--so glad they wanted to spend time with me.
So, there it is. I more than doubled my challenge, which I didn't expect at all. I well and fully met my goals in the challenge. And I created an absolutely memorable month.
Friday, September 23, 2016
That's what I get for being polite
Him: Ok I probably don't have a shot since I'm not LDS. But I did want to say that actor James Franco new movie looks so funny and good.
Me: Yes, sorry. I am only looking to date LDS men--I don't want to waste other men's time.
Him: You totally did talk about the movie lol you are too fool of yourself lol bye lol
Huh?
I talked about the movie? What is he talking about? I don't even know who James Franco is.
And because I don't want to waste other's time I am "fool" of myself?
WHAT?!?!?
And seriously, what all is there to be so lol-ing about?
I often hear of men who cannot handle rejection well. I suppose this guy is a mild case of that, which is still ironic considering he walked into the conversation ready to be rejected.
ug.
Me: Yes, sorry. I am only looking to date LDS men--I don't want to waste other men's time.
Him: You totally did talk about the movie lol you are too fool of yourself lol bye lol
Huh?
I talked about the movie? What is he talking about? I don't even know who James Franco is.
And because I don't want to waste other's time I am "fool" of myself?
WHAT?!?!?
And seriously, what all is there to be so lol-ing about?
I often hear of men who cannot handle rejection well. I suppose this guy is a mild case of that, which is still ironic considering he walked into the conversation ready to be rejected.
ug.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Guh-Ross.
Him: Hi
Me: I'm sorry--but your profile shows we have completely opposite aims in life as well as dating.
Him: Thats make me :( you should take a chance
Me: Uh no. I am on here to find someone to marry, not someone who is already married. I want to have children with my husband, not be with someone who doesn't want any more kids. And I want someone who shares the same religious beliefs, not someone who is non-religious.
Seriously?!?!?
Kid you not. His profile said his wife is "bi poler" and no longer needs him. He won't leave her because they have 2 kids, but that he misses kissing. BLECH!!! It is awful that this site has a marital status of "Not Single/Not Looking."
So, yes, there are all kinds on dating sites. But my profile is filled with information clearly stating that what they are looking for is not me.
Oi.
Me: I'm sorry--but your profile shows we have completely opposite aims in life as well as dating.
Him: Thats make me :( you should take a chance
Me: Uh no. I am on here to find someone to marry, not someone who is already married. I want to have children with my husband, not be with someone who doesn't want any more kids. And I want someone who shares the same religious beliefs, not someone who is non-religious.
Seriously?!?!?
Kid you not. His profile said his wife is "bi poler" and no longer needs him. He won't leave her because they have 2 kids, but that he misses kissing. BLECH!!! It is awful that this site has a marital status of "Not Single/Not Looking."
So, yes, there are all kinds on dating sites. But my profile is filled with information clearly stating that what they are looking for is not me.
Oi.
Monday, September 19, 2016
#34Before34 Part 4: Week 3
Date/Outing #15: I had a blind blind date. I kid you not. My friend was the only one to follow up on my pleas for help from friends to help me find dates to fulfill my challenge.
(May I just have a side vent that I get rather tired of people who like and like and like my question posts, but never do or say anything in regards to the question. "Who wants to come with me to this event?" Like. "Where can I find this brand of ice cream?" Like. "Does anyone know of any men I can go on a date with for a challenge? Like. Your likes do me absolutely no good! Those who comment--those are much appreciated! So I would like to say a huge thank you to the one friend who actually helped me date-wise on this challenge.)
So as she was setting me up on this blind, date, she told me a little about this guy. And one of the facts--he is blind. I couldn't--and still can't--help but find the irony. I will admit I was rather intrigued, since I spend 18 months working with visually impaired. He is not what we would term a total, but he is legally blind. Caused by spinal meningitis when he was very young. I picked him up to take him to a park for a walk. The walk was fine. I enjoyed near the end of the date when I was able to talk a little bit about visually impaired things with him. But the 40 minutes before that....I was completely bored out of my mind. At least it was not about a former spouse! It was about races and running. I may have been a long distance runner in Jr high and high school for track and cross country. And still run an occasional 5K. But the topic doesn't really interest me. I tried to ask other kinds of questions, but he always brought the conversation back to his running. I guess in all fairness he was completely distracted by the fact that the park we were in was one he ran a race in during high school.
Date/Outing #16: This was my first 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #3. We had set a date for the date, but no definite details since I was leaving it to him. I finally contacted him the day before and asked if he was still up for it. He was. Mentioned one activity idea. It didn't appeal to me at the time, so I suggested another and he agreed. We had time and all set. Even discussed it morning of. A couple hours later he messaged me to tell me he was laid off and really didn't feel up for the date that night. Understandable. So we cancelled. the date. I tried to see if anyone else wanted to have a last minute.
("Anyone want to join me for a movie night tonight? Like. *insert eye roll*)
It was a no go on that. So I got some yardwork done instead, and then watched a movie I had been wanting to for a while. I still had a good evening. Even if I was at home, I am counting the date to the point that we had the plans and I had expended some energy in the prep and plans for that.
Date/Outing #17: This was my second 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #4. I was not looking forward to this one because of how conversation was in between. It annoyed me so much! Conversation, when it happened, was rather humdrum for me. I didn't find his topics interesting, except for one or two that I had strong opinions about, which I definitely let out. Probably more profusely then I should have....
I admit I probably could have been a little better on this date, but in my defense--he planned a lunch date. May I remind (or inform) you that he is deaf. Yes he has hearing aids, but from my observation they only alert him to some sound. It seems that he mostly reads lips. Eating food. Talking. We've been taught it is rude to do the two together, but it is even more awkward, rude, and gross if someone is trying to read your lips if the two occur at the same time. And because he couldn't always hear when I started to speak, I pretty much sat in many awkward silences waiting for him to stop eating and look at me so I could say something. (Wondering if he gets awkward silences; not sarcasm or complaint--honest wondering.) So there was much waiting on my part. In silence. There was also that he kept thinking I had spoken when I hadn't, so he kept turning his head to me at random times to see my mouth. He also chose to sit beside me instead of across, so his head was at this funky angle to see my mouth, and he sometimes got a little close to my face to see my mouth. That was uncomfortable. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable subject topics. Uncomfortable physical space. Uncomfortable in a "cultural" situation that I was not as familiar with.
There was also the whole part of him talking fast, and he wasn't that easy to understand. But if I spoke fast (which is about 98% of the time), he couldn't understand me. He had to stop me to repeat myself slowly. Understandable. But he never slowed down for me. I suppose I could have asked him to slow down, but when I would say I didn't understand what he said, he thought adding signs to what he was saying fast helped me understand. No. Not really. That's just adding a foreign language on top of not understanding what you are saying.
He walked me to my car. We said goodbye. I was in the car and closing the door when he called out to me and returned to my car. So I had to get out and ask "What?" And he asked "So, will we be able to go out again soon?" My courage failed me. And instead of saying my "no connection" line, I said "I'll think about it." Oh my word. The parental long answer for "no." I couldn't believe I said that. But I did. And I think he got the idea.
Date/Outing #17: My third 2nd date, this one with #14. He met me after a ward activity and we went for a walk. Mostly we sat in the park. I was extremely tired by this point. Date/outing earlier that afternoon had left me close to tears because it was so unpleasant for me. I apologized a few times for my attitude, but this guy didn't seem to see me as being rude or tired or grumpy. He thought I was just loose. ......... OK. As long as he wasn't offended. We ended up back at my house and talking for another couple of hours. He definitely knows how to ask a TON of questions. And I have never been one shy of talking if I feel comfortable with a person. The conversation was fine. But it was enlightening. I experienced no growth or insight from it. I still don't feel I know him as much factually. Perhaps a little bit more in personality.
Date/Outing #18: My friend of many years came over--with 3 kittens!--and we caught up on our lives over the last few years. While playing with kittens. I have never been near kittens before. It was an experience!
Date/Outing #19: This, so far and possibly will be it, has been the only date during the challenge to come from a dating site. He did not know of my challenge until he had already asked to meet me for a date. He seemed intrigued by the challenge, and not intimidated or deterred by it. So we set our date and texted in the passing time. By the time we got closer to the day of the date, my introvert was fully on. (Possibly why I wasn't so impressive on the previous 2 dates.) I had kind of reached a point that I was not interested in the least and hoped the date would end within the first hour. But within the first 10 minutes I found myself completely and happily surprised that he wasn't at all what I had worried he would be. And that I was enjoying talking to him and listening to him, tiredly introverted as I was. I didn't want that date to end. We both agreed to end it after 2 1/2 hours because we had things to get to--after 4 times saying we needed to leave and then wondering off into another conversation topic. Conversation with him was the most equal and the most interesting of all the dates so far in this challenge. And he is the only date in the challenge where I found myself at the end excited for the next one (which, yes, we have agreed to have one; plans to be made later--because we had to stop talking to each other and go!).
Projection says he is my last date in the challenge, and the rest will be outings. They also say that the Girls' Ice Cream Night planned a couple of weeks ago may have to be cancelled--because I made callbacks for a show! But I still have book club, and a possible haunted house outing, and my cast party, and my birthday sleepover. This will be a busy week. And then Introvert may be appeased for a month before we enter the fabulous Halloween festivities!
(May I just have a side vent that I get rather tired of people who like and like and like my question posts, but never do or say anything in regards to the question. "Who wants to come with me to this event?" Like. "Where can I find this brand of ice cream?" Like. "Does anyone know of any men I can go on a date with for a challenge? Like. Your likes do me absolutely no good! Those who comment--those are much appreciated! So I would like to say a huge thank you to the one friend who actually helped me date-wise on this challenge.)
So as she was setting me up on this blind, date, she told me a little about this guy. And one of the facts--he is blind. I couldn't--and still can't--help but find the irony. I will admit I was rather intrigued, since I spend 18 months working with visually impaired. He is not what we would term a total, but he is legally blind. Caused by spinal meningitis when he was very young. I picked him up to take him to a park for a walk. The walk was fine. I enjoyed near the end of the date when I was able to talk a little bit about visually impaired things with him. But the 40 minutes before that....I was completely bored out of my mind. At least it was not about a former spouse! It was about races and running. I may have been a long distance runner in Jr high and high school for track and cross country. And still run an occasional 5K. But the topic doesn't really interest me. I tried to ask other kinds of questions, but he always brought the conversation back to his running. I guess in all fairness he was completely distracted by the fact that the park we were in was one he ran a race in during high school.
Date/Outing #16: This was my first 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #3. We had set a date for the date, but no definite details since I was leaving it to him. I finally contacted him the day before and asked if he was still up for it. He was. Mentioned one activity idea. It didn't appeal to me at the time, so I suggested another and he agreed. We had time and all set. Even discussed it morning of. A couple hours later he messaged me to tell me he was laid off and really didn't feel up for the date that night. Understandable. So we cancelled. the date. I tried to see if anyone else wanted to have a last minute.
("Anyone want to join me for a movie night tonight? Like. *insert eye roll*)
It was a no go on that. So I got some yardwork done instead, and then watched a movie I had been wanting to for a while. I still had a good evening. Even if I was at home, I am counting the date to the point that we had the plans and I had expended some energy in the prep and plans for that.
Date/Outing #17: This was my second 2nd date in the challenge. It was with Date/Outing #4. I was not looking forward to this one because of how conversation was in between. It annoyed me so much! Conversation, when it happened, was rather humdrum for me. I didn't find his topics interesting, except for one or two that I had strong opinions about, which I definitely let out. Probably more profusely then I should have....
I admit I probably could have been a little better on this date, but in my defense--he planned a lunch date. May I remind (or inform) you that he is deaf. Yes he has hearing aids, but from my observation they only alert him to some sound. It seems that he mostly reads lips. Eating food. Talking. We've been taught it is rude to do the two together, but it is even more awkward, rude, and gross if someone is trying to read your lips if the two occur at the same time. And because he couldn't always hear when I started to speak, I pretty much sat in many awkward silences waiting for him to stop eating and look at me so I could say something. (Wondering if he gets awkward silences; not sarcasm or complaint--honest wondering.) So there was much waiting on my part. In silence. There was also that he kept thinking I had spoken when I hadn't, so he kept turning his head to me at random times to see my mouth. He also chose to sit beside me instead of across, so his head was at this funky angle to see my mouth, and he sometimes got a little close to my face to see my mouth. That was uncomfortable. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable subject topics. Uncomfortable physical space. Uncomfortable in a "cultural" situation that I was not as familiar with.
There was also the whole part of him talking fast, and he wasn't that easy to understand. But if I spoke fast (which is about 98% of the time), he couldn't understand me. He had to stop me to repeat myself slowly. Understandable. But he never slowed down for me. I suppose I could have asked him to slow down, but when I would say I didn't understand what he said, he thought adding signs to what he was saying fast helped me understand. No. Not really. That's just adding a foreign language on top of not understanding what you are saying.
He walked me to my car. We said goodbye. I was in the car and closing the door when he called out to me and returned to my car. So I had to get out and ask "What?" And he asked "So, will we be able to go out again soon?" My courage failed me. And instead of saying my "no connection" line, I said "I'll think about it." Oh my word. The parental long answer for "no." I couldn't believe I said that. But I did. And I think he got the idea.
Date/Outing #17: My third 2nd date, this one with #14. He met me after a ward activity and we went for a walk. Mostly we sat in the park. I was extremely tired by this point. Date/outing earlier that afternoon had left me close to tears because it was so unpleasant for me. I apologized a few times for my attitude, but this guy didn't seem to see me as being rude or tired or grumpy. He thought I was just loose. ......... OK. As long as he wasn't offended. We ended up back at my house and talking for another couple of hours. He definitely knows how to ask a TON of questions. And I have never been one shy of talking if I feel comfortable with a person. The conversation was fine. But it was enlightening. I experienced no growth or insight from it. I still don't feel I know him as much factually. Perhaps a little bit more in personality.
Date/Outing #18: My friend of many years came over--with 3 kittens!--and we caught up on our lives over the last few years. While playing with kittens. I have never been near kittens before. It was an experience!
Date/Outing #19: This, so far and possibly will be it, has been the only date during the challenge to come from a dating site. He did not know of my challenge until he had already asked to meet me for a date. He seemed intrigued by the challenge, and not intimidated or deterred by it. So we set our date and texted in the passing time. By the time we got closer to the day of the date, my introvert was fully on. (Possibly why I wasn't so impressive on the previous 2 dates.) I had kind of reached a point that I was not interested in the least and hoped the date would end within the first hour. But within the first 10 minutes I found myself completely and happily surprised that he wasn't at all what I had worried he would be. And that I was enjoying talking to him and listening to him, tiredly introverted as I was. I didn't want that date to end. We both agreed to end it after 2 1/2 hours because we had things to get to--after 4 times saying we needed to leave and then wondering off into another conversation topic. Conversation with him was the most equal and the most interesting of all the dates so far in this challenge. And he is the only date in the challenge where I found myself at the end excited for the next one (which, yes, we have agreed to have one; plans to be made later--because we had to stop talking to each other and go!).
Projection says he is my last date in the challenge, and the rest will be outings. They also say that the Girls' Ice Cream Night planned a couple of weeks ago may have to be cancelled--because I made callbacks for a show! But I still have book club, and a possible haunted house outing, and my cast party, and my birthday sleepover. This will be a busy week. And then Introvert may be appeased for a month before we enter the fabulous Halloween festivities!
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