THIS!

I saw this article tonight:

Here Is Why Paying For The Date Is Not About The Money

It's so true! It is not about the money. I actually don't like money being spent on me. It makes me feel awkward, uncomfortable, and undeserving. Yet I've been taught to accept graciously. So I do. But I can have just as much fun and enjoyment by a inexpensive or free date, and definitely feel just as feminine and desirable because a man has chosen to spend time with me.

I do want to point out that though not about the money, one element is not as true for me. I don't spend that much money to prep for a date. I will certainly dress up, and put in some effort. But I am not one that goes to get my nails done, or hair done ever. And new clothes get bought every few years. So again, not as much money spent right before a date.

I point this out, though, because a lot does get spent by me in order to reach a first date. I have to put in a lot of money in the dating game. I like to go to dances. I have fun at those dances, mostly, however, I'd really like to meet some men at these dances, too! I go to dinner groups, dance lessons, ward parties, Family Home Evening activities, Institute classes, hot springs outings, movie outings, festivals, vacation adventures elsewhere, and so much more. Guess what? Each one of those things costs me money to go! Some of those quite a bit of money!

I go to them because I want to have fun. I go because I like to see and make friends there. Yet a huge reason I go is to meet men. I am an INFJ, and a hermit by nature. I love to stay at home, curled up reading or watching a movie, playing a game with friends, or making and eating food at one of my hosted parties. I prefer smaller, intimate settings. And most of those activities are basically free. So not only am I shelling out a bunch of money to participate in these other activities, but I'm also spending large amounts of emotional, mental, and physical energy. Energy that takes time to renew--time that should be spent continuing to go out to meet new people, otherwise I feel I'm being lazy, or wasting time and opportunities.

For a girl who has to put out so much just to meet men, it means so much to have a man ask me out and want to spend some time with me. I have appreciated each date, no matter how awkward, boring, exciting, misleading, silly, fun, ideal, "perfect," or painful. Each one has given me experience. I have learned much about myself. I have had a chance to be away from the huge crowds and be in the more preferred smaller settings. I've been able to have conversations. I love that I get dates now (as opposed to no dates for 3 years straight). I would like to have more. One day, I would hope that the dates progress to a more steady, serious, committed relationship. But I don't want to rush it. I just want that to happen when it's right. Until then, please men of good character and standing and intentions--please keep asking me (and other women!) out.