This was my first week in my 34Before34 Dating/Outing Challenge. I set the challenge on a Tuesday and posted about it on a couple of midsingles Facebook groups, as well as my own Facebook page. The next night my challenge began!
Date/Outing #1 & #2: Two gal friends from my musical this summer joined me in watching my brother's play. It was absolutely hilarious--and they were THE BEST people to watch that show with. We found the same things funny, and reacted in similar ways. I wasn't embarrassed for laughing at all that I did, because they did, too!
Date/Outing #3: This guy responded to the request I posted on one of the Facebook mid-singles group page. He had actually reached out a few weeks earlier through a PM (personal message). We had a couple of exchanges, but I wasn't really into it. (I was in the middle of my musical and at the time dealing with the end of the repercussions with Jerk Boy. Not his official nickname, but I'll come up with one eventually. Mono Boy has been putting itself up for consideration.) ANYWAY! We met at a park and went for a walk so we could talk. He did most of the talking, but the conversation was interesting enough. A decent amount was about his divorce and his current re-settling. We managed books, too, because he knew I was a librarian. I didn't feel excitement or annoyance or disgust by the end, so I felt that warranted a second (which is scheduled for this weekend).
Date/Outing #4: Another guy who responded from the Facebook post--almost immediately. We met after my work shifts at Comic Con. Did some window shopping and sat to talk. I would say this conversation was about 75% him, 25% me, which seemed more than what I had with #3. Again, another guy who elicited no negative response, but nothing hugely positive either. Neutral often happens on a first, especially one where there was no communication/meeting beforehand. So we have scheduled a second date for this weekend. But I will admit that his attempts at conversation in between have been very random and rather annoying. Not boding well for 2nd date, but I think it will still be a pleasant enough time. And just an FYI, he is the first guy I have been on a date with who is deaf. He is deaf from birth, I believe. He has hearing aids, reads lips, and speaks pretty well. I just had to remember to face him more than I am used to. And occasionally I would say something he didn't understand, which--by the grace of my admiration of Helen Keller so that I taught myself in 5th grade--I was able to finger spell to him.
One interesting fact--he had told me through PM that he was deaf as well as divorced with no kids; he didn't talk about his first marriage at all on the date. This was amazing, because many divorcees that I go on a date with talk about it right away. Some in a good way. Some in a not good way. I don't think it is something that should be hid, or scared to talk about. But it can be a bit uggggg to have that be a big part of the conversation on your first date. So he definitely got a point for that.
Date/Outing #5: Another who responded on Facebook--practically on the heels of #4. We met at Temple Square after church so we could take a walk. He did almost all of the talking. About his
two marriages. It was not as complain-y as it could have been; more along the lines of things he has learned from them. Still, it wasn't the most entertaining conversation for me. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious, but he wanted people to talk to and wanted to make friends. I am fine with that, because I was feeling absolutely no interest, and getting a little of the "I'm done with this one" vibe. What irked me the most is that he seemed to take my reasons for doing this challenge and thinking I was depressed, despondent, down with life. I tried to explain that I wasn't--I am actually quite happy, but I wanted to prevent any contemplation from reminding me of the tough things that I have managed to get through, grow from, or simply endure.
Date/Outing #6: I had a day off. So in the morning I met this guy--another Facebook responder (all 3 of these guys through the same FB group)--at a park to play a card game I brought. As random would have it, he is also deaf! Went deaf around the time of his mission, so his speech is quite clear, and he uses hearing aids. The game I brought had a few versions to it. So we would play a version and then talk. Actually,
he would talk. About his
three marriages. And talk about magnet for crazy, insane things. Just one of his many stories alone could have been a red flag. But all of his crazy stories together not only made for an uncomfortable, let-this-end-as-soon-as-possible date, but combined to form a huge deal breaker for me.
I am sorry, but I am not looking for a project. I am looking for someone on a somewhat equal ground as I am. Different backgrounds and experiences can still bring two people to an equal ground. But when one of your marriages happened because you thought you were on your way to a reception and after she had driven quite a ways you asked her where you were going and she said to Vegas because you were going to marry her and you went with it because you didn't know how to say no..... Very unequal ground, if not simply uneven. My word. That was actually painful with everything else I put up with in that date. It made me so relieved for
Date/Outing #7: Noon of my day off. This guy I have been friends with for a couple of years. Tried to go on a date but gave up after a couple of weeks of my busy schedule. Yeah. I wasn't highly impressed with that. But we're still friends. He saw one of my posts somewhere. So we met on the Jordan River Parkway and talked. It was nice and relaxing to have someone I already knew and be able to talk about whatever. You know what I find hilarious now? I thought he was late 30s. Maybe early 40s. A mutual acquaintance told me this week that he is 52. Well--beat my highest age in a date (though the 48 year old I went out with would be around 51 now, so....).
And that was the first week. *phew* The outing(s) was great, and 4 of the 5 dates were not as bad as I was worrying about. So, yay! Plus, just at the end of week 5 I had quintupled my goal of 1 date a month. Success all around.
