No way.

Seriously--this is your dating profile bio on an LDS dating site? Uggggggg.

Making love ( sex ) is a must before marriageyou may not like me and that's okay I am member of church but don't fallow all they teach I seen good and bad from many high in the church so I choose I different path with God I seek a women that wants married and a life forever but I also want a women that will date and prove love if we get together in same bed you may not like that and that's your choice but a must is us share same bed even before marriage

I'm so disgusted--you can bet I blocked him after receiving his flirt. Feeling all kinds of ick. Now having to chant to myself all my Love Magnetizing Mantras.

Do you not get that you cannot have a forever marriage in a temple if you are breaking your temple covenants by sleeping together before marriage?! Let's not even go with the fact that I wouldn't date you because of your lack of standards and morals that coincide with my own--I don't date dumb men, either.

Even scarier and sadder is that he probably is having women responding to him.

Both genders: Please read

This.


#4, #5, and #6 from the girl is most especially pertinent from me from my experiences over the last 10 days.

Another and Rather Odd First For Me

6 months ago, I learned some of my barriers in dating and relationships. One of those is that I thought I was invisible to men. That I was ugly and unattractive and they didn't see or want me. This included physically as well as mentally, intellectually, and in personality. The barrier wasn't just one I put up once in my life to protect me. It was a compound over several years that made it bigger and messier and tougher to break through. Luckily, for 2+ years before I attended my Inner Goddess weekend and learned what that barrier was, I had many things (dating coach, dating books, articles, etc.) that were helping me to hack away at that barrier. By the time I got to my Goddess weekend, that barrier was crumbling. But it helped so much when I was able to give it a name, and fully get rid of it.

Well, almost fully. Once in a while I have glimpses of that barrier and I have to re-direct my thoughts and energy to something else.

So it is the greatest irony to me that in the last 6 months, one of the main troubles I am having with dating are men who are too focused on, interested in, or distracted by the physical attractions I have to offer them. Now some of the guys I meet I can tell are the kind that just "want some," and I am not flattered (though admittedly, I am still surprised). But then there are others who seem like fairly "normal" men (whatever that means), who tell me they find me attractive, and a couple whom I have allowed to act on that attraction.

I am flattered by that attraction. And still surprised. But frankly--and I never thought that I would ever be saying this: I am tired of men finding me physically attractive!

Not that I want to be unattractive. And not that I don't want a man to be physically attracted to me.

But what ever happened to men who knew how to have conversations, and to build friendships, and to have fun that didn't include the physical?! The men who didn't let their sex drive steer their entire course of dating me? What happened to the men who had and showed respect? Who would listen when I told him that it wasn't the focus I wanted in a relationship, or that there are lines that I won't cross and yet they keep trying to cross them? The ones who would take my "No" for an answer and not continue to try and jeopardize both of us? And yes, I do mean LDS men.

Before you wonder--I have not done anything to break covenants I have made with my Heavenly Father. But I am meeting men who start off being great and nice and fun who later change the relationship, to where I am suddenly just a physical object for their pleasure and they care nothing about who I am.

I still believe that there are good LDS men out there who know how to control their desires, respect the women they date, and honestly want to meet and get to know non-physically their best friend. And because I believe it, and pray for it, and seek for it, I know I will find it. And will continue to pray that the Lord will help protect me as well as make me aware of those guys whose intentions are not those that are the best for both of us.

P.S. I am not saying that physical affection is bad. But moderation and control, especially in the very beginning, is crucial or else that becomes the focus and the foundation--which is a guarantee for failure.

Adventures in Blocking

11:04 pm

Him: I know this is a bit forward and I'm not sure if you're into kinky stuff but I liked your pictures and I'm wondering if youd like to mess around on snapchat tonight with me?

I got the message at 1:15pm the next day. By then, he no longer had an account. Saved me the trouble of blocking him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: U looks beautiful whats your name?​

Me:

Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: Do you like younger sexy men?;)

Me:

Block!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm getting good at this blocking stuff. I still feel rude, but at least I'm not AS disgusted.

7 Brides for 7 Brothers Dating Tips?

Him:  Hi pretty, is really amazing to meet you here. Your picture have said a lot about your beauty and it really gets me attracted, well I would love to get to know more about you if you don’t mind…..hope to hear back from you

[I contemplated going with my new resolve to just immediately block every guy whose profile shows I will not be interested. But I still felt guilty. So I responded.]

Me: Thank you for the compliments, but I'm sorry. Your profile indicates you are not the kind of man I am looking for. Good luck in your dating quest.

Him: oh dats great and you too have a nice day
Him: but if i may ask my dear can you relate to me the kind of man that you are looking for? will like to hear you. hope no offense my dear

Me: You smoke and drink. I am looking for a man who doesn't do either.

Him: hmmmmm interesting my dear
Him: i wish you good luck my dear but dnt just judge from a distance

I am not your dear, honey.

For post title reference, watch the first few seconds of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qaxA5Xa_e0

Millie needs to add in that you don't do that in first communication.

Subconsciously Hilarious

I dreamed last night.

First I met this really amazing guy at some function. We had a lot in common and we got along fabulously. But it never occurred to him to ask me out.

The dream morphed into a group of my friends and I meeting some men at an activity. It was a match-up group date of sorts. My guy and I were hitting it off. Then all of the guys started to feel sick (we thought food poisoning) and left for the hospital.

Even in my dreams I am doomed.

Selling His Case

Him: So do you really believe we are 99% compatible? Or you think this is a very inaccurate singles' site...​

Me: It is not the most accurate algorithm, and it doesn't factor in the number of questions answered. Plus--it doesn't factor in crucial questions that only people themselves come up with as important to them.

Him: So what's a crucial question or questions you would come up for me?​

Me: Well, considering our age difference and the desires I have in life, I would ask are you LDS? What are your plans for the next 40 years? How many kids would you like to have?

Him: Yes I am LDS, in the next 40 years, I have a plan to keep physically fit and healthy, I also have a plan to keep mentally, emotionally and spiritually fit and healthy as well, in the next 10 years, to earn 100 million dollars get married and have at least 4 children; in the next 10 years I also have the plan to record my piano and music compositions. How about you?​

Me: I am also LDS. In the next 40 years, I want to continue loving and experiencing life while serving the Lord. I would also like to see more of the world Heavenly Father created for us. I still dream of 10 children, and believe much of that will happen with adoption now that I am older.

Him: You're perfectly young and healthy enough to have 10 children yourself; if you believe, you can do it; let's begin with the first step, how about dinner this coming Friday?​

Me: I have a lot of health issues, so I will be very blessed and grateful if I am able to have 1. I have generally had a wide age range for dating, but I'm sorry, with you being 18 years older than me, you are a few years out of it.

Him: Totally understanding; but just a thought for you to consider, thanks God I am healthy and strong, more than many guys in their 20s and 30s, and I will be for 50 more years; age is relative when it comes down to health; my age doesn't take away any of the abilities of a normal man. But thanks for sharing : )​

Me: I consider my father one of the healthiest men I know. He has always taken care of himself. But he is only a decade older than you, and I am watching how age slows things down and make things difficult that no amount of healthy living can change. That is why for now I have lowered my age limit for me I date. Thank you for being understanding.

Him: Hey, no problem, life is a matter of choice and preferences, you'll find what you want according to your faith and willingness to submit to God's will. I recently learned that we singles remain single because we look for what we want and not for what God wants for us.​

Me: About wants, that is a truth. However I recently was at a conference where I learned that God gives us desires in our lives, and He wouldn't give us those desires if He didn't intend for us to have them in His time. Part of the Conference was spent figuring out what out desires are, as they relate to our core values. And my desires have started to be fulfilled ever since. So I know He is bringing about His promises to me.

There are so many thoughts that come to mind about this. I'll just say that yes, this guy is 20 years older than me. And the slight creepiness of him telling me I was young and healthy and I could have 10 kids